A boob-less bachelor party!

I know what you are thinking, how can it be. How can men celebrate the last few days of bachelor life with out grotesque amounts of booze, or naked women.  I am here to tell you that it is possible. It was a true test of friendship to abide by the rules however. I racked my brains to think of a suitable alternative. I imagined a lame bowling alley bachelor party with gutter punks, a retro skating rink bash, and also entertained the idea of going to Chunky Cheese’s. These ideas just were not enough to show one of my best friends how great exiting bachelor hood could be.

I can dredge up only minuscule amounts of vague recollection when it concerns my friend’s first bachelor party, and the parts I can remember are too gratuitous for this post. I can speak for most of the participants in attendance that none of us can truly recall the finer points of that night. This made me realize that even with out gallons of liquor, or “entertainers” a group of old friends can get together and have an unforgettable day. The going out with a bang bachelor party idea was born. 

A light bulb appeared over my head and I thought if I can’t get my boys trashed and have their squeaky clean reputations tarnished a bit, I could send them out with a bang. I called all of the guys going and dropped the plan of having a zombie apocalypse take place at our farm. We amassed all of our firepower and reloaded all of the ammo that we could for this glorious event.  The day had arrived and we congregated at my parent’s house.

My mother blew our minds with a dinner that was amazing! My mother saved my ass; I was going to grill some burgers and be done with it. If you do not know my mother, the enthusiasm obtained by entertaining and the love that she puts into her food is second to none. It is a bit overwhelming to witness and to be a part of. She had thought of everything and it was spectacular. Once we had eaten our fill and found the motivation to leave the table it was off to the farm.

Our group consisted of a few veteran shoots, a novice or two and a bloke that had never shot a firearm in his life. The guys did not disappoint; the quantity and quality of firepower was impressive to say the least. We had amassed an arsenal of battle rifles, combat handguns, shotguns and hi-capacity magazines that would have made any gun lover jealous. Then the zombies arrived. It was a total riot, thank you Birchwood-Casey for your new shoot and see Darkotic zombie targets. They supplied us with hours of endless entertainment. We tested our skills and ability during this epic battle with the undead. The veterans took care to show the newbie shooters proper technique and operations with the various firearms. Soon, they too were taking out zombies with crucial head shots required to neutralize the hoard of undead. The look on everybody’s faces at the end of the day was priceless. 

When we were out of ammo and when every one got their fill of shooting all of the different guns, including my wife’s cute little pink Walther P22 it was time to go. One of the guys had asked if he thought that my mom would mind us going back for second helpings of her wonderful food and I assured him that it would be no problem and it sounded like a great idea to me! We all ate our fill and lingered on some of the more impressive parts of the day.

All in all, it was a blast that we will not soon forget, and will be easily remembered. He is to be married by the time you read this, the best mans speech will no doubt be censored and edited for the tales that I can tell about our previous lives are sordid and off color for such an occasion. Let there be no doubt friends and neighbors that a boob-less bachelor party can be far better than the alternative, and the lives that we are currently enjoying make us realize just how lucky we are to have our wives. BTW with out the creator of this blog I may never have met mine. Thanks Bobbi Jo, I love you too.

Barry