Author spotlight- Piper Faust

I’m Piper Faust, and I wrote the book on bad boys!!!  It’s called Idiots I’ve Seen Naked, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords for the ridiculously low price of $.99 cents!  I’m not bragging or anything, but I’m one hundred percent certain you’ll love, love, love this book if:
  1. You’ve ever had a man give you a hounds-tooth umbrella for Valentines with the price tag still attached!
  2. You’ve ever had a man tell you he wants to have his excess testicle skin removed and made into a pouch that his unborn grandchildren can collect arrowheads in!
  3. You’ve ever had a man tell you he’s a “stupid, fool, idiot” in response to the following question:  “Why won’t you just take me on a date?”
  4. OR…you’re just a good ‘ol gal who likes to laugh and have a good time!!!
          Here’s a brief overview of the insanity you’ll encounter once you download Idiots I’ve Seen Naked:
     I’m Ava Grace McCrory, and I have fun!  I have a house, a car, a job, a Master’s Degree, and fantastic friends!  I’m fun, cute, honest, easy to get along with, and courteous enough to push my Walmart buggy back into the little stall when I’m done shopping.  Even when it’s fourteen degrees outside!  I’m not divorced with ten kids.  I’ve never been to prison, and I’m not a convicted felon.    
     Sadly, I have major issues when it comes to men.  My friends say I’m way too picky.  I say not really!  Everyone deserves to get what they want, and I want a guy who’s at least 6’1 that drives an SUV or a truck.  No cars allowed.  Sorry, it’s just my rule.  Picky has nothing to do with me being single though.  Here’s the problem:  I *heart* JERKS!!!  And just to clarify:  no, I haven’t seen every idiot in this book naked, only three!  Of all the dudes in the world, these are the mental cases I chose to waste the best years of my romantic life on:
      Jax Wilson:  This idiot’s been blowing up my phone for almost ten years!  He’s been deleted, re-entered, and deleted from my contact list countless times.  If I’m really honest with myself, I may still love this guy.  Sadly, he has three strikes:  liar, womanizer, alcoholic!  NEXT!
     Grant Burress:  Without a doubt, the worst mistake of my life!!!  You’ll hear me refer to Grant as trouble-gut, but he’s actually extremely attractive.  He’s also extremely selfish and extremely narcissistic!  Half Grant’s time is spent looking in the mirror flexing his biceps and the other half is spent counting his cash!    
     Briley Mason:  He’s a Good Time Charlie with the emotional maturity of a snail!  On a scale of 1 to 10, Briley is an 80 horny all the time and would make out with his own shadow if it were physically possible.  Oh, and he’s totally a breast man!  One thing he likes more than breasts, though, is breast milk!  And we all know AIN’T NO MILK AS GOOD AS MAMA’S MILK!!!  
     A special shout-out and muchos, muchos gracias to BJ for a cameo spot on the most revered blog this side of the Mississippi!  And Mexico, tooo! 

No comments: